Friday, July 27, 2012

Small triumphs

D rocked the Bob stroller (THANK YOU GREAT GRAMMA STEPH) this morning for a successful excursion for a run (can't really call it running, its more like bouncy-jarring walking with heavy breathing and sweating) and trip to the grocery store. On the way home we connected with 9-day old Serena and Nicole for another half lap in the park.

Just picking up my mom's asthma meds and some bananas--no big.

Struggle City has a new mayor...

The polls have closed and I am definitively the hands down mayor of Struggle City.
At what point will I crack today?

My good friend Ann came out for Dealer Camp (she and husband Andy own the coolest bike shop in Rochester) and she squeezed in a visit to the pit of despair (aka our house). Awesome to see her and she convinced me to start pumping...and to let Steve give a bottle during the night. This has allowed me to get more than 2 hours of sleep which has been awesome. Instead of death exhaustion I'm just really tired.

Ann and Dima
Flashing gang symbolzzz

Monday, July 23, 2012

Visits with la Nonna fairy godmother


Ok fine

Have gotten several requests for a pic of Dman and moi. You COULD just look for a picture of Uncle Fester or Lurch from the Addams family and that would be a close approximation to what I THINK I look like. A punched-in-both-eyes-pale-supersaggy look...HOT

We had an awesome visit with Nonna-fairy godmother (my mom). It was awesome to see her and she gave the hubs and I a little relief from the little jihadist that has taken up residence with us. While he may continue to terrorize us, he is so damn cute while doing so.

Little visit from Auntie Lolo and Peter

Dmitri rocks his original gangster in the Moby--WANTED: baby-sized bling

Friday, July 20, 2012

FYI we had a minivan waaay before we had a kid

Have gotten some vehicle comments lately and just needed to set the record straight as to the order of things. It went like this
- we had a life
- we got a van to support our fun activity-filled life
- good spell of fun activities with van
- we had a kid
- had to find and dust off the backseats
- now we are just like everyone else in Utah

Yes I realize this is a desperate effort to say "we used to be cool" and its just as unpersuasive as saying "I saw that band before they got huge."

And to underscore how uncool and cliche I actually am, here are some gratuitous baby pics of our perfect child.

Saturday, July 14, 2012


First trips to:
Farmers Market
Whole Foods
Wine store

Even if it is straight out of "Stuff White People Like"

Test driving some new gear

Thanks to the Jowegawas for the awesome customized chocolate!!

Once the temps dropped from searing to just f-word hot 2 days ago, we took our Ergo Baby for a test drive (thank you yohnson-gammons!! Thanks Nonna for the infant insert). According to the hubs its a lot more comfy than other things we've tried.

Open mouthed slumber stamp of approval
Hubs and D in the Ergo

Dmitri weighs in on the kitchen design with the Hubs over coffee

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Not top of the class, but then again D's get degrees

Here we are at D's one week birthday. And what a week its been.

The Hubs: a modern man

 Here we are at D's one week birthday. And what a week its been. The highs are high, the lows are low. Through it all a complete sense of non-reality, gratitude, terror and despair.  We have holed up in our house (its been sweltering outside). We have had visits from lots of D's aunties and uncles which has been awesome. Somehow, he has managed to be *good* in front of the company. The nuclear meltdowns we have been able to keep behind closed doors for the most part.

We are super appreciative the yumminess that people have been leaving for us. We would not have otherwise been surviving! Lizzie brought us Red Moose muffins this morning (my fave!). A little later on Clem stopped by with Tulie treats that we enjoyed for lunch. THANK YOU GUYS and to everyone else who has provided us with sustenance!!

Along with the treats, Clem brought us a bunch of key baby items including a MOBY and some swaddle blankets. Nicole also lent us a spare Moby-type thing which is awesome. Clem gave us a demonstration and then we decided to test-drive it with a walk around the neighb.
So great to leave the house--even with the saharan heat. Though I am completely WORKED, it felt GREAT to move my body.

We watched "Happiest Baby on the Block" and the Hubs got obsessed with swaddling. I'm obsessed with sh'shing and jiggling (and that's not just my deflated stomach talking).  In the case of the swaddlingIn fact, it was the key to our being able to finally put D down in the bassinette. However, it tends to work only if he is COMPLETELY chilled out. Otherwise, the kid is like Houdini and no matter how tightly we swaddle (he is still breathing--so that is the upper limit, right?) I feel like there should be canned applause when he is able to pop out his hands. Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon 2 has nothing on Dmitri.

We continue to be mesmerized by Dmitri and his ability to melt us with his cuteness and amaze us with his uncanny ability to pee on the changing table as soon as the diaper is removed. He keeps it random enough so that each time we'll think "ok he hasn't done that the last few times we'll probably be ok...."  And you know how that goes.

A visit with Aunt Lizzie!

A+ swaddle
D minus Swaddle

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Through the burning ring of fire into the goddess circle

WARNING: This post is not for the fainthearted so before you leave a comment about my oversharing (sleaze, beth) consider yourself warned. So for those with strong constitutions, or the can't-look-away-from-accident-scene reflex, read on.

Well its true, they will let anyone be parents...

Dmitri Peter Lawrence and moi. He gets the dark hair and open mouth sleeping from me, everything else is all the Hubs
In an astonishing display of earliness, the alien decided to land on 4th of July.  Holy crap...I can't even believe this has all happened/is happening.  In any case, I was pretty grumpy (ok, a complete bitch) on Tuesday night. Snapping at Steve and just uncomfortable and feeling weird. We went to bed on Tuesday night only to wake up to a flood in the bed at 3:30 AM on Wednesday morning.  Yep, the water broke...And yes it was like on TV. Probably more dramatic. I yelled HOLY SHIT and jumped out of bed to go the bathroom.
I remained calm (in spite of having bone wracking shivers) while the Hubs proceeded to RUN AROUND the apartment (2nd floor of our house where we are staying while the construction on the main floor proceeds). I had already mostly packed a bag but the hubs moved all my stuff into my Primal/MMR duffel (best bag ever) and then decided to pack like we were going on a camping trip for 10 days. The duffel was retardedly huge. I think we used 3 things from it.
I called the midwife to let her know my water broke and was informed that it was a pretty active night for water breaking--likely due to the full moon.  A sentiment corroborated by Mel who said, "the moon controls the tides, your water isn't shit."

We arrived at the hospital and I was hooked up to wireless monitors for the alien's heartrate and to measure my contractions. I eschewed the hospital gown for one of my comfy maternity dresses. I brought a bunch of maternity clothes to labor and recover figuring it doesn't matter if they get trashed because I SHOULDN'T BE NEEDING THEM ANYMORE (which turns out not to be entirely true--but was still a great idea to wear--I was comfortable and I got lots of compliments from the staff.) The contractions weren't too bad but since my water had broken there was a concern about getting labor ramped up sooner rather than later.  So, the midwives "hooked me up" to a breast pump to get contractions going. While in this cow phase, the hubs and I watched the tour stage. The pump must've worked because I remember seeing Cav crash towards the end and then the contractions became full on. I was able to watch the leadout trains but had a gnarly contraction inside of 1 k to go and missed seeing Greipel win the sprint.

*Incidentally, that is the last I've seen of Tour de France or really anything that doesn't have to do with the 3 T's (the tot, tit or taint).

At this point, we called in our doula, Amy...She showed up to the hospital and for the next several hours, she, the midwives and Steve encircled me getting through each contraction. This is a period of extreme fogginess. I know I spent a lot of time on the birthing ball and then on my hands and knees either on the bathroom floor or the bed. This was a whole new level of pain. Wow. Contractions were coming ever 2 minutes or so and I was envisioning getting to the top of a hill or the end of a race, trying to just get to the other side. Oh there was puking and screaming and lots of horribleness.  At about 2 pm, the midwives asked if they could check me to see how dilated I was.

4 goddamned measly centimeters (you have to get to 10 cm before you can even start pushing).

Keep in mind I was 2 cm coming into the day.

My "team support" was incredible but I just didn't have what it took to make it through. 11 hours after my water breaking, I called for the team car (literally screamed team car--since that was our pre-arranged code word that I was REALLY done trying to do it naturally--I had already said "I can't do this" and "I'm going to die" a million times).

My hats off to the women who have done it naturally--my MOM and other friends. I truly have a whole new respect.

Even though the team car (anesthesiologist) pulled up pretty quickly, it was hard to even get in (I didn't even think I could make it onto the bed).  As the epidural was administered, the edge started to come off. I was still feeling contractions and had pretty bad back pain...but nothing like before. The hubs, Doula and midwives turned the lights back down and let me go into the recovery cocoon for a bit. I was even able to close my eyes for a bit. The hubs and doula were able to go grab some food and have a piano moment before the next phase.


At about 2:30 or so, J9 showed up straight from the annual Sun Valley trip the hubs and I always go on for Woody's birthday (which is ALSO July 4)...
New blood. It was perfect timing. Even with the epidural, the pain in my back was getting pretty sucky. Likely due to the ratcheted up Pitocin induced contractions (I was given a Pitocin drip when I started the epidural). J9 just started pressing on my sacrum with all her weight and it was a huge help.


At about 5, the midwives came into check me. I was fully dilated and effaced (holy 6 cm in less than 3 hours). It was time to start pushing. Just as pushing began--MY MOM MADE IT FROM THE EAST COAST FOR THE FINISH! For this last part I had the full on Goddess circle around the bed with the doula, 2 midwives, J9, my mom...and the Hubs of course (so let's say it was goddesses and a centaur).  It was pretty key as this was the final descent back into the full on darkness.

As the alien made his way down, shit got real. Although for those who want to know--there was no actual shit. Its the small victories after all.  I can't imagine how things would've been with the epidural because it was screaming, swearing and pleading all over again. With the finish line in sight, I still had doubts about how I was going to get there.


The head started to come out--and though the midwives asked me to ease up on pushing, there was no way I was stopping at that point. I guess the analogy would be sprinting across the line to win the race only to crash into a barrier. Nothing takes away the sweetness of the victory--but it comes at a price. Price being some serious tearing of the lady parts. After I completely disregarded the midwife's plea to ease up--and the alien full emerged--I was conscious enough to hear her say "Ohhhhhhh" and exchange a glance with the other midwife.
Whatever, at this point, the alien--let's call him Dmitri now--was placed on my chest screaming.

There is probably nothing like this I will ever experience like this in my life...ever, ever, ever. The relief of his healthy cry and getting him out were sublime. Then the crying stopped and little Dmitri looked into my eyes.

*Pause in typing while I cry again.

I think there was a lot of crying happening in the room. The hubs cut the cord and the goddess circle ebbed into the background (while maintaining a magical and supportive presence--I don't care how cheesy that sounds because it was true). The hubs and I gazed at Dmitri with nothing short of awe. I still am not sure this all happened. Then I only need consider the burning ring of fire (that is still in full force).

*Deep breath

After the placenta was delivered (not really a big deal) and I was stitched up (that took a long time, and the OB was called in for that part as there were 2 tears--one of which was a 2nd degree tear).  I was completely blissed out but did have a passing thought about whether I might have a "Cutting for Stone" situation.  (It was explained to me later that, that was a completely different thing and about 1 million times more serious). 


After Dmitri, the hubs and I had some pretty primal bonding, the D-man did some meet and greet and mugging for the paparazzi.  Woody showed up with some champagne. Hell yes did that taste awesome.

The hubs and D-man
Goddess circle member Auntie J9

Goddess Nonna (my mom) and Little D

I am so incredibly, profoundly grateful for my goddess circle, and the amazing experience I had for Dmitri's entry into the world.  Beyond the goddess circle, we had so many friends and family giving us their love and support which I believe was there in the room with us (you eye-rollers just wait till my next post where I talk about the placenta pills I've been taking). The hubs and I are changed people and feel like we crossed over into a new realm of amazingness (sprinkled with lots of other things--stay tuned).  Thanks to our hospital visitors and for adding to the lovefest and treat supply (the Weeps, Kimo and LeChefski, Woodies, DBs, Mini G). 
Victory salute!

The Yogurt on My Pretzels

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