Having a kid put me in the hurt locker for some time. Even though I felt crippling love for this little booble---I had a massive struggle to try to deal in life.
On a good day I was averaging a B minus...most days hovered between C and D.
|Celebrating our team overall win in Vegas with the Prof and supermechanic RickyBobby|
With the passage of some time...and with the help and support of the Hubs and our friends and family---things just started to improve at about Dman's 4 month birthday and have gotten better (and worse at times--but mostly better)...
Thank god/the universe/whatever for a healthy kid, an awesome husband, an amazing family and out of this world friends.
Racing and training was so helpful for regaining some sense of self (THANKS COACH K). So stoked to have a team and awesome teammates to ride with this season (Thanks Prof and Kaytie and teammates!). I mean at first I was just super grateful to just even be lining up again to race. We are so privileged to do what we do. Lucky to have some awesome co-workers who put up with my scattered-ness and still allow me to try to contribute and to feel like I can utilize my brain.
|Numbers with our names on them, pardon my dorkiness but I was highly into this.|
And my friends. Unbelievable awesomeness...Abby and Mrs. Jowegawa---who watched Dman when he was itty bitty and allowed me to go for some of my first runs/rides. Lizzie, Mel, Erin, Sleaze, Drewster, Richie, Justino, the Yohnson-Gammons, Nicole who introduced me to some awesome mama friends...The Jowegawas (mechanic-ing and friend-ing)...Danika, our Durango and Boulder peeps and Johnny G and Jen, JJ, Kimo, Maggipannetone, Mrs. Nezzy, Newberry, the DBs... Hot damn we have some amaze-ball peeps in our lives. Nisie, Superfit, KK and PB! Though the frequency of hangs has definitely dropped off--the significance of these kids at various points this past year makes me feel so lucky.
Of course, most important, The Hubs. The Hubs who has been so amazing and awesome even on this hormonal roller coaster. Even dealing with an obsessive and selfish wannabe athlete. Don't know where I'd be without this superb dude in my life. And of equal importance, The Booble. The Booble-issimo who gives me a daily boost when I see his smile and when I get a sloppy kiss it sends me over the moon. These 2 are my bread and butter---they make life sweet and full and wild and overwhelming and amazing.
I want to fall on my knees EVERY NIGHT when I put the Booble put to bed every night and know that he will most likely not wake up till the next morning. When I drop him off at daycare and he doesn't cry and just starts playing and when I pick him up and he gives me the biggest smile and lets me hug him...and then wants to be put down to continue doing what he was doing...When he smiles and jabbers at the cashier in Smiths, when he hands me everything he picks up off the ground from rocks to cigarette butts (maybe not the dog poop--he did that once)I feel so happy and so lucky and SO PROUD!!!!
Even without an Oscars time limit I know I've missed other major players...but to everyone that I know and that I don't know--FREAKING THANK YOU! Thanks just for even reading my increasingly inarticulate, un-proofread, infrequent bloggings...the past year, really the past TWO years has been (sorry I have to say it) a JOURNEY! I don't know if I've grown as a person or really learned jack shit...But in my more lucid moments I know I'm one lucky mother f'er and though I probably don't deserve all the goodness in my life (or even recognize it most times), I sure am grateful for who and what I have in my life!